A Genderful Noise

Saturday May 9, 2026, 1:30 pm Pacific
Messiah Lutheran Church and Preschool
905 NW 94th St, Vancouver, WA 98665

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Join Drew Swatosh and pianist Claire Forstman for a voice recital exploring Drew’s relationship and journey with gender. Christoph Willibald Gluck’s Che faro senza euridice (What will I do without Euridice?) from Orfeo ed Euridice (Orpheus & Euridice) and Carolyn Quick’s O Captain! My Captain! visit Drew’s origins with masculinity and then we say goodbye that version of themselves through Gabriel Faure’s Adieu. Next, we begin questioning and exploring femininity, softness, and vulnerability in their gender identity and expression through Drew Swatosh’s Vulnerability from the Dead Fires Anthology, Lisa Neher’s I Want to Be Soft, and Speak to Me (Talk to Me), Drew’s art song about the emotions politicized erasure aspects of people’s identity. Then, we find the courage amid fear in Melissa Dunphy’s Sorcery from Four Poems of Nikita Gill, take the leap of faith to publicly be themselves in Drew Swatosh and Brian Dang’s I Want Everything from If Only I Could Give You the Sun, and find contentment in that decision in Robert Schuman’s Mondnacht (Moonlit Night) from Liederkreis. Finally, we end with You’ll Be Back from Hamilton by Lin-Manuel Miranda to show confidence in my gender identity and expression amid the ongoing attacks against trans and non-binary people.

Program

Che faro senza euridice (What will I do without Euridice?) from Orfeo ed Euridice (Orpheus & Euridice) music by Christoph Willibald Gluck, libretto by Ranieri de’ Calzabigi

O Captain! My Captain! music by Carolyn Quick, poetry by Walt Witman

Poème d’un jour, Op.21 music by Gabriel Fauré, poetry by Charles Grandmougin
III. Adieu

Vulnerability from the Dead Fires Anthology music and Poetry by Drew Swatosh

I Want to Be Soft music and poetry by Lisa Neher

Speak to Me (Talk to Me) music and poetry by Drew Swatosh

Four Poems of Nikita Gill, music by Melissa Dunphy, poetry by Nikita Gill
I. Sorcery

I Want Everything from If Only I Could Give You the Sun music by Drew Swatosh, libretto by Brian Dang

Liederkreis, Op.39 music by by Robert Schumann, poetry by Joseph von Eichendorff
V. Mondnacht

Four Poems of Nikita Gill, music by Melissa Dunphy, poetry by Nikita Gill
III. You Have Become a Forest

You’ll Be Back from Hamilton by Lin-Manuel Miranda

Text & Translations

Che faro senza euridice (What will I do without Euridice?) from Orfeo ed Euridice (Orpheus & Euridice)
music by Christoph Willibald Gluck
libretto by Ranieri de’ Calzabigi
Translation: Bard Suverkrop & Drew Swatosh

O Captain! My Captain! [abridged]
music by Carolyn Quick
poetry by Walt Whitman

O Captain! my Captain! our fearful trip is done,
The ship has weather’d every rack, the prize we sought is won,
The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting,
While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring;
But O heart! heart! heart!
[O] the bleeding drops of red,
Where on the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.

O Captain! my Captain! rise up and hear the bells;
Rise up—for you the flag is flung—for you the bugle trills,
[For you bouquets and ribbon’d wreaths—for you the shores a-crowding,]
For you they call, the swaying mass, their eager faces turning;
Here Captain! dear father!
This arm beneath your head!
It is some dream that on the deck,
You’ve fallen cold and dead.

[My Captain does not answer,] his lips are pale and still,
My father [does not feel my arm, he] has no pulse nor will,
The ship is anchor’d safe and sound, its voyage closed and done,
From fearful trip the victor ship comes in with object won;
Exult O shores, and ring O bells!
But I with mournful tread,
Walk the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.

Poème d’un jour, Op.21
III. Adieu (Farewell)
music by Gabriel Fauré
poetry by Charles Grandmougin
Translation: Richard Stokes

How swiftly all things die, the rose in bloom,
And the cool dappled mantle of the meadows;
Long-drawn sighs, loved ones, all smoke!

In this fickle world we see our dreams
Change more swiftly than waves on the shore,
Our hearts change more swiftly than frosted flowers!

To you I thought I would be faithful, cruel one,
But alas! the longest loves are short!

And I say, taking leave of your charms, without tears,
Almost at the moment of my avowal, Farewell!

Vulnerablity from The Dead Fires Anthology
music and words by Drew Swatosh

I breathe in, I breathe out
the weight of my soles grounds
through the earth,
my heart space opens anew,
wading through emotions
deep and complex,
with vulnerability flowing like tears,
“Find what feels good”
I breathe in, I breathe out

I Want to Be Soft
music and word by Lisa Neher

I want to be soft
like a moon snail outside its shell
like the underbelly of a porcupine.

I’m run down from resilience
camouflaging as confident
walking under the weight of a carapace.
mask on, defenses up.

The arboreal salamander breathes through its skin
water circulates through the pores of the sponge
I want to be permeable, like that.

Speak to Me (Talk to Me)
music and words by Drew Swatosh

Speak to me of things and I will listen,
There are things I’m not telling you.
I have invisible struggles
that I feel the need to mask.
Just let me be soft
and vulnerable.
How do I take up space
when the world left me behind?
Just let me be soft
and vulnerable.
Let me live my truth!
Please god just let me be!
Don’t deprive me my humanity.
How can I live my truth?
It’s messy, but me.


Four Poems of Nikita Gill
music by Melissa Dunphy
poetry by Nikita Gill

I. Sorcery
for Lindsey Bower

Every day I magic myself alive again
from the near death experience of trauma.
I swallow my heart back from
the lump it has become in my throat.
I taste my own memories
without the flavour of blood but as poetry.
I learn how to whisper my name
without it sounding like a curse.
I murmur spells to the parts of me
others have found too dangerous to love.
And after this morning ritual
I finally smile at the woman in my mirror.
Tell me again,
how healing is not a magical thing.
Tell me again,
how I am not made of sorcery.

I Want Everything from If Only I Could Give You the Sun
music by Drew Swatosh
libretto by Brian Dang

ICARUS
Is mine.
Everything.
The sun
the heat on my skin
the light of its rays
is mine.
The moon
that dances in step
luminous and glowing
and its power that
manifests in waves
is mine.
The air
that flows in and out
of my lungs
and out my nose
and through every
living creature and tree
on Earth
is mine.
This sky
so open
so edgeless
it overwhelms
the eye of every beholder.
This sky
that stretches
so tightly around our world
it seeps into our dreams.
This sky
is mine.
And I do not need
a string to find my way
And I will fly as high as I want
And I will scream and bellow in joy
And laugh
and plant my future in the wind
Mutable, changing
I need not know where I am going
or fit into this or that
If all this
is mine.
You think you know
how this story ends
You’ve seen the pictures
of my body
dipping into the violent ocean
never to be seen again.
But this is not that
it will never be that
I will fall
but not into that
I will fall into joy
I will fall into life
And this
gift of being
alive
on Earth
in my very own body
is mine.

Mondnacht (Moonlit Night) from Liederkreis, Op.39
music by Robert Schumann
poetry by Joseph von Eichendorff
Translation: Richard Stokes

It was as though Heaven
Had softly kissed the Earth,
So that she in a gleam of blossom
Had only to dream of him.

The breeze passed through the fields,
The corn swayed gently to and fro,
The forests murmured softly,
The night was so clear with stars.

And my soul spread
Her wings out wide,
Flew across the silent land,
As though flying home.

Four Poems of Nikita Gill
music by Melissa Dunphy
poetry by Nikita Gill

III. You Have Become a Forest
for Emily Lancon

One day when you wake up, you will find that you
have become a forest. You have grown roots and
found strength in them that no one thought you
had. You have become stronger and more beautiful,
full of life giving qualities. You have learned to take
all the negativity around you and turn it into
oxygen for easy breathing. A host of wild creatures
live inside you and you call them stories. A variety
of beautiful birds rest inside your mind and you call
them memories. You have become an incredible self
sustaining thing of epic proportions. And you
should be so proud of yourself, of how far you have
come from the seeds of who you used to be.

You’ll be Back
music and words by Lin-Manuel Maranda

You say
The price of my love’s not a price that you’re willing to pay
You cry
In your tea, which you hurl in the sea when you see me go by
Why so sad?
Remember, we made an arrangement when you went away
Now, you’re making me mad
Remember, despite our estrangement, I’m your man
You’ll be back, soon, you’ll see
You’ll remember you belong to me
You’ll be back, time will tell
You’ll remember that I served you well
Oceans rise, empires fall
We have seen each other through it all
And when push comes to shove
I will send a fully armed battalion to remind you of my love!
Da-da-da, dat-da, dat, da-da-da, da-ya-da
Da-da, dat, dat, da-ya-da
Da-da-da, dat-da, dat, da-da-da, da-ya-da
Da-da, dat, dat, da-ya
You say our love is draining, and you can’t go on
You’ll be the one complainin’ when I am gone
And no, don’t change the subject
‘Cause you’re my favorite subject
My sweet, submissive subject
My loyal, royal subject
Forever and ever and ever and ever and ever
You’ll be back like before
I will fight the fight and win the war
For your love, for your praise
And I’ll love you ’til my dying days
When you’re gone, I’ll go mad
So don’t throw away this thing we had
‘Cause when push comes to shove
I will kill your friends and family to remind you of my love
Da-da-da, dat-da, dat, da-da-da, da-ya-da
Da-da, dat, dat, da-ya-da
Da-da-da, dat-da, dat, da-da-da, da-ya-da
Da-da, dat- everybody!
Da-da-da, dat-da, dat, da-da-da, da-ya-da
Da-da, dat, dat, da-ya-da
Da-da-da, dat-da, dat, da-da-da, da-ya-da
Da-da-da, dat, da-ya-da-ah

If You Were Gay from Avenue Q
music and lyrics by Robert Lopez & Jeff Marx

NICKY
If you were gay
That′d be okay.
I mean ’cause, hey,
I′d like you anyway.
Because you see,
If it were me,
I would feel free
To say that I was gay
(But I’m not gay.)

If you were queer
I’d still be here,
Year after year
Because you′re dear to me,
And I know that you
Would accept me too,
If I told you today,
“Hey! Guess what,
I’m gay!”
(But I′m not gay.)

I’m happy
just being with you.
So what should it
matter to me
What you do in bed
with guys?

No it′s not!
If you were gay
I’d shout hooray!
And here I′d stay,
But I wouldn’t get
in your way.
You can count on me
To always be
Beside you every day,
To tell you it’s okay,
You were just born
That way,
And, as they say,
It′s in your DNA,
You′re gay!
If you were gay.

About the Artists

Drew Swatosh (they/them, pronounced “SWAH-tahsh”) is a composer, vocalist, and arts administrator whose bold yet intentionally vulnerable work centers the human voice as a site of inquiry and belonging. Shaped by a background in arts-integrated education, Swatosh creates programmatic music as a way of processing the world. As an autistic and trans artist, Swatosh approaches music-making with unusual attentiveness to systems, ethics, and accessibility, bringing rigor and emotional resonance into productive balance. Described as “music of naked protest and yet subtle beauty” (Oregon ArtsWatch), their operatic, choral, chamber, and vocal works advocate for transgender and non-binary singers, creating welcoming alternatives to historically gendered roles. Swatosh’s commissions include the Seattle Opera Creation Lab, the Vancouver School of Arts and Academics Music Department, Big Mouth Society, Fear No Music Young Composers Project, and works for the Dead Fires Anthology for solo unaccompanied/self-accompanied voice. Their awards include Portland Symphonic Choir’s New Works Competition and first place in the Washington State Music Teachers Association Young Composers Project. As a vocalist, Swatosh sings with Portland Symphonic Choir, has worked under Conspirare Artistic Director Craig Hella Johnson at the Oregon Bach Festival Composers Symposium, and made their professional debut with Persisting Sound. Swatosh is also a co-founder of Raindrop New Music, and leverages extensive experience in arts administration, one-on-one mentoring, and technology-forward creative support. 

— Bio by Aligned Artistry

Claire Forstman is a sought-after pianist and vocal coach based in Portland, Oregon.  As a Resident Artist with Portland Opera, she will be the principal pianist for Falstaff, play orchestral keyboards for Paul Moravec’s The Shining, and music direct the studio’s scenes program and aria showcase.

Last season, she was the principal pianist Portland Opera’s Puccini: In Concert, offstage conductor for The Snowy Day, and second pianist for Enchanted Woods and Le Nozze di Figaro. In the upcoming season, she will be music directing the fall opera at PSU, and her recent and upcoming collaborators include Vashon Opera, the Oregon Bach Festival, OrpheusPDX, Portland’s Opera on Tap, Opera in the Park, the Portland Symphonic Chorus, and Opera Bend.
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She was a member of the Florentine Opera studio for two years, and has also worked for Finger Lakes Opera, Chicago Summer Opera, dell’Arte Opera Ensemble, Opera Steamboat, and Sarah Lawrence College.